Death, taxes and Josh Anderson missing the net: these are life’s three certainties.

This afternoon, the Canadiens were in New Jersey to take on the mighty Devils. The Devils didn’t miss the opportunity to taunt their opponents on X after their victory.

The home team won 4-3. They inflicted their fifth consecutive defeat on the Canadiens.

Despite the defeat, the first trio woke up. After two scoreless games, Nick Suzuki, Juraj Slafkovsky and Cole Caufield found the back of the net. In fact, it was the captain who scored twice. Caufield picked up an assist on Suzuki’s first goal, while Slaf was blanked. I have exclusive footage of Suzuki during Habs games.

One forward who’s not doing so well is Josh Anderson. He can’t buy a goal. He does everything but score.

At least he’s a good veteran and he’s fast … As Bob Hartley would say, “he wouldn’t even fall overboard if he jumped out of a boat”.

In the first period, he had Nico Daws at his mercy and shot wide of the net.

If he played soccer, it would go like this:

Josh Anderson on a 2-on-1 with an empty net pic.twitter.com/SLVuaH802v

– /r/Habs (@HabsOnReddit) February 24, 2024

Speaking of soccer, CF Montreal kicks off its season tonight at 6:30pm.

Getting back to the more beautiful of the two sports, Anderson missed another golden opportunity. This time, it was late in the third period, with the equalizing goal on his stick blade.

He didn’t miss the net, but he still didn’t get a shot on target. He hit the post. At least he finished his game with an assist.

Poor Andy, who, I remind you, is being paid $5.5 million for another three years after 2023-2024, hasn’t scored a goal since January 11.

This season, he has just seven goals, five in the space of 12 days…

Apart from the horse’s performance, here’s what I took away from this fine defeat for Tankathon.

1. Finally, a goal for the forwards! After a scoreless period for both sides, Brendan Gallagher opened the scoring with a perfect shot from the top corner. It was his ninth goal of the season, and 211th of his career.

He joins Serge Savard as the club’s 35th-highest scorer (412).

Brendan Gallagher’s 2nd-period goal ties him with Serge Savard for 35th on the Club’s all-time scoring list (412).

Brendan Gallagher’s second-period goal ties him with Serge Savard for 35th on the Canadiens’ all-time points list at 412#GoHabsGo pic.twitter.com/aNfT9uCswK

– Montreal Canadiens (@CanadiensMTL) February 24, 2024

Gallagher played a good game today, a rare good game from him these days.

He wasn’t perfect, as on one of the Devils’ goals, but he was effective. If only he could play 82 games a year like that…

2. Jake Allen held down the fort in the first two periods, but in the third period, the Devils’ attack was too strong for him.

With 20 saves on 24 shots, he (again) finished the game with an efficiency average below .900.

He still made some key saves during the match. It has to be said that he wasn’t too busy in the first 40 minutes, but hey…

The 34 is really good at playing starfish.

I’m noticing this poor technique from the goalkeeper more and more.

Being a goalkeeper myself, I learned at a very young age that “the pancake”, as some would say, is not an ideal technique. The proof: I don’t do it anymore, and I do well in garage leagues.

Allen made it to the NHL, but I didn’t…

3. Macklin Celebri, here we come! The Habs have now lost their last five games and are now in the thick of the playoff race in the lottery.

I hope the future top pick likes potholes and poutine…

If the season ended today, Montreal would have a 7.5% chance of winning the lottery. That’s not much, but I’ve seen crazier deals in the NHL this season. And even if we didn’t win the lottery, the team would still have to select a player in the sixth or seventh spot.

According to Tankathon, the pick would be Cayden Lindstrom, but I have a feeling he won’t be available past the fourth spot.

Cole Eiserman, who could fall, then? To be continued, but I really like the losing streak. I apologize to fans who still believe in the playoffs.

4. Did the Devils give the officials a low 20? I’m not one to blame a defeat on the zebra stripes. After all, all you have to do is score goals.

Today, the officials didn’t make New Jersey win, but they didn’t even give the Tricolore a power play.

Yet the team dominated five-on-five.

Don’t tell me “the Devils were very undisciplined”.

No, they weren’t.

Extension

As we now know, Jayden Struble was unable to play this afternoon. So he made way for Johnathan Kovacevic, who was literally the Habs’ best player.

He and his captain played a full game.

Tougher match for Arber Xhekaj. If Struble is ready to return to action on Tuesday, would Xhekaj be the one to give up his spot?

Tomorrow, the Canadiens will hold their traditional skills competition at 10:30 a.m. at the Bell Centre. And on Tuesday, the team returns to action against the Arizona Coyotes.

A four-point game… in reverse. #Tankathon