Teachers of Reddit reveal most NSFW things they've done in class

Crédit photo: Columbia Pictures Teachers of Reddit reveal most NSFW things they've done in class
The world of teachers is filled with some interesting characters... but you already knew that. We all did. However, we bet you didn't know that a lot of them are just like us, capable of doing the stupidest things and speaking without thinking while in class, thus risking their jobs.

When Redditor kepperson asked, 'Teachers, what is the most NSFW thing have you done in your classroom?', we were certain that some hilarious answers would pop up, but we had no idea that there would be a ton of great stories. Here are the five that STILL have us laughing:

MoistPockets: I was a marching band instructor (just in the summer for band camp). One of the kids was eating a bag of skittles during a break and she asked me, "Do you want to taste my rainbow?" Without thinking, I blurted out "Not until you're 18." I wasn't fired!  

MisterCanoeHead: Ok, I'm not proud of this, but here we go . . . . It was my first year teaching high school English to a bunch of thugs. I was only a few years older than some of them. Near the end of class two guys are arguing loudly and I tell them to knock it off. They ask me to settle their argument for them. This on kid, let's call him Greg, says, "Mistercanoehead, if some guy puts a gun to your head and tells you to give him a blowjob, you'd have to do it, right?" "Greg," I say, that's not a conversation to have during class." The whole class is listening intently now. "Well," says Greg, "If someone put a gun to my head and told me to give him a blowjob, I'd do it." "Well Greg," I said, "I'll remember that the next time I have a gun." The class erupts in laughter. Somehow I don't get fired.

cgonza12: Well, I sexually harassed my entire class... We were discussing captcha in regards to AI vs. human intelligence and I made the mistake of using a captcha with a 'D'. Flash forward to the middle of class where I'm asking one of my students 'Jared, you've seen many D's before, but never this D. How do you know its a D? Does it have some kind of D-ness? What makes a D a D?' etc. At this point most of the class is laughing, Jared is very confused, and I'm just hating myself. Lesson learned: do not discuss the D or its D-ness with undergraduates.

TigerHandyMan: I was teaching 5, 7 - 8 YO's beginning woodworking at a private school and we were painting our projects. We were in a room alone and I was a 35 YO male. A young girl who was wearing a denim shorts and skirt set got paint all over her skirt. I caught myself with my hand under her skirt trying to wash the paint off with a wet cloth and thought "What would anyone think if they walked in on this scene?" I let her clean off the paint as best she could and finished the class. It scared the hell out of me.

DeathStarVet: Teaching a science class about goats and sheep. To show the kids (middle schoolers and high schoolers) the animals up close we planned on going to a livestock auction. To prep them for the auction, I told them to not point or raise their hands, because it was an actual auction and they might bid on the animal accidentally. For the respect of the community and business, they shouldn't do anything that looked like they were bidding.

Then the questions came: What if we bid? Who would have to pay for it? What if I raise my hand to ask you a question? What if I think the animal is cute and bid on it? One kid wouldn't let it go, so I said, jokingly: if you bid on any of the animals, I'll put you up for auction. Only African-American kid in the class. Didn't get fired. Felt awful. TL:DR accidentally told an African-American kid I was going to auction him off.

 

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